Pieces of Us...

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things... - Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Oh life is looking up.

After so much drama for these past few months, things are definitely looking up for Jonathan and I. We just have one more hurdle to cross with Jonathan's health. Friday is "D-Day" when we find out what is really going on with him. I know I haven't had time to mention here lately about what has been going on with him, but he has something seriously wrong with his liver. His doctor pretty much told him that he needed to make a "complete lifestyle change." I.e., no more drinking of alcoholic beverages. Not that Jonathan is an alcoholic or anything, but he does drink a couple of times a month with his buddies. Jonathan's only problem is when he does drink with his buddies, it's to excess. Not one or two beers, but something like 12 to 15. Now my hubby is a "big boy" and weighs over 250 pounds so he can put some beer away, but that is a little excessive.

To tell Jonathan that he can no longer drink was a big shock and "lifestyle change" for him. I seriously think when the doctor discussed it with us, Jonathan thought it was some kind of "conspiracy" or something I had with the doctor to get him to quit drinking alcohol. Jonathan has basically been a "social drinker" since he was probably 15 years old. Anyone who has ever been in the military knows what a huge part of military life it is. Now I'm not saying EVERYONE drinks or anything (because I never have), but it was a big part of his life.

Since the kids have been born he hasn't drank with his friends as often, but when he does go out, he loves to sit with the boys and put back a few brewskies. So when the doctor told him he had liver problems and if he would like to live past the age of 40, he would need to stop drinking, well we'll just say it wasn't a happy day in the household. Top this with all of the stress and strain that has been going on in our marriage, the no communication, basic lack of affection, etc. that we had going on. Well it just spelled disaster with a capital "D".

I am really worried about what we are going to find out on Friday, so please keep your fingers crossed and keep us in your prayers that it isn't as serious as the doctor was originally making it out to be. The thought of something happening to Jonathan just really scares the hell out of me. We have been friends since we were 15 years old and we have been married since we were 20 years old, so we have basically been together for over half our lives.

We have really been communicating and being very attentive to each other since our 8 hour "discussion" we had this past weekend. We are both committed to giving 100% to this marriage and to keeping our family together. I just hope and pray that we can both continue to make time for each other, keep the lines of communication open, not bitch, etc. Marriage is hard work I say. And I think that was one of our problems, we haven't been concentrating on making this marriage work. We've just been blaming each other for one thing or another instead of trying to correct what has been wrong. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, I'm sure you are bored to tears hearing me talk about our "marital problems." Let's move on to other things for now...

Last night we all went to gymnastics with Skyler. We don't usually all go together. Normally Jonathan will come home early and take care of Chase while Skyler and I go to gymnastics and out to dinner. It gives Jonathan a few hours of "quality time" with Chase. But we all went on Tuesday and then went out to eat at the Crac*ker Bar*rell. As we were heading into the restaurant this older couple stopped us and looked at the kids and the wife said, "You have a beautiful family." I thanked her and as we sat down I thought, "Man itis hard to believe that Jonathan and I would screw up our family. We are two of the luckiest people in the world. We have two beautiful and healthy children, a wonderful home, great jobs. We've got to make this shi- work!"

Well sorry to run for now, but I need to finish some stuff up. I'll write more later.

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things... Monica; 4:07 PM

2 Comments:

Anonymous said...: Just to put a thought forward, my brother passed away from the drinking logo. He had a heart attack while sleeping. It effected the whole family, my mother the most.

As for the rest of the stuff, the older one get the less they look at the future. Meaning; in a situation like this one, someone wants to be young- and growing older is the only option.; 1:01 PM
♥Caroline♥ said...: My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby. My husband and i went thru the same thing as your marriage. We started to co exist with each other and i was thinking of leaving the situation. But one day we sat and talked and talked. Basically, being able to communicate with each other will save your marriage. It's worked for mine. Thank God! I know he really does love me. The small stuff tells me so. And the big stuff he does confirms it. When ever i start to feel like we are slipping apart i start the conversation.; 1:41 AM