Pieces of Us... | ||||
Sorry for No Posts - Saturday, January 29, 2005 I'm sorry its been awhile since I've posted. Things have just been crazy around here. If and when I do have time to try and sit down and do a post, I've really used my time to try and figure out how to add photos to the weblog. I am so "HTML illiterate" its funny. I don't have a whiz kid hubby or son to help me out. I guess you could say "I'm the blind leading the blind." Anyway, I think I am finally figuring it out. It was fine using the program Hello, but I really wanted the photos to show up IN my posts and not on top or after them. Does that make any sense? Anyway, where to begin... Not much has happened since I last wrote. Nothing exciting anyway. My hubby and I are still the typical "fighting" couple. It seems like we are never happy anymore. He complains that I "bitch" too much and I complain that he is a lazy piece of sh--. Hmmm, do you see a viscious cycle here? I say I would'nt HAVE to complain if he would actually DO something around the house besides sit on his a-- watching ballgames. I could go on and on for days on this one, but I really don't feel like it today. He actually told me this morning that he didn't like staying at home because of me. I'm constantly bitching. But when you are the only one in the house that actually does anything and its constant, you really get tired. He basically goes to work and helps me a little with the kids and thats it. And if and when I do try and give him a task to do, I have to continuously follow up on it and finally just end up doing it myself because he never does it or finishes it. Now you might say, don't do it. But for instance, the taxes. I gave him some paperwork and told him to call the IRS and get something done. Well that was 2 months ago and its still not done. Now its time to file our 2004 taxes and we still have something screwed up from 1999. I'll just have to do it myself. Thats the way it turns out all the time. Do you ever think you married the wrong person? Sometimes I definately wonder. Thats horrible to say, I know. But that's just how I really feel right now. Its just one of those things where you either accept the way a person is and live with it, or move on. I really and truly think if the kids and I ever left, that he would be happier. I think we waited too long to have kids and its just been too big of a change for him. He loves the kids and everything, but he really isn't "father material." No one in his family really is. Well except for one uncle. He has no patience and is constantly screaming, not only at the kids, but at me to. This morning I just sat down in front of the washing machine and loaded clothes and cried. I mean when your own hubby tells you that he doesn't like being aroud you. Well what can you say Anyway, enough moaning and groaning. I don't want to depress anyone else. Skyler and I got up this morning and made some muffins. She loves to "help" with the cooking. Sometimes its hard to believe how big she is getting. I can't believe she is already 3 1/2 years old. It seems just like yesterday she was born. Chase is also getting big. He really was only born yesterday it seems! I took him to work yesterday to let the girls at work see him. My co-worker, Amy, who is pregnant, really wanted to see him. She is expecting her first child in June. I keep telling her it is going to be born on my birthday (June 22nd). She isn't finding out the sex of the baby. Now that would have driven me absolutely bonkers! Anyway, I took him to work to show him off. He is such a good baby. I'm really lucky in that department. Not that Skyler isn't a good girl either, but Chase has been an "exceptionally" good baby. Now that all could change at any moment, I'm sure. But for now I'm really enjoying having a good baby! Its a good thing he is good, because if he wasn't, I would probably be up sh-- creek! Jonathan has a hard enough time as it is dealing with the kids. Just the time and energy they take. I really feel lucky sometimes that both of my kids are healthy and gorgeous, of course. (Hmm, I don't seem biased or anything do I?) I guess I should be lucky for the things that I DO have and not things that I DON'T have... Like a loving, caring and attentive husband. Sometimes I look at how other men treat their wives and I wonder why I don't have that. No, I do not have a wife beater husband or anything like that, don't get me wrong. But I definatel don't have one of those husbands who opens doors for you, buys you little gifts on special occasions, pulls the chair out for you at a restaurant, gives you kisses throughout the day, etc. He basically doesn't do anything loving towards me. Is it that way after you hit a certain year of marriage or something? Or is it just us? I think I'm a very loving person and I definately show it with my kids, but if you try and love on Jonathan or anything, its basically like, "What do you want?" Ugh... Okay, I've gotta stop now.
I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me. Sorry for No Posts Monica; |
about me name: Monica Home: Somewhere in NC About: The life and times of a working mom with two kids who needs a break! links About Me Photos www.flickr.com
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1 Comments:
Wow...Your world sounds like my world...guess that's why i enjoy reading your blog.
Your blog is coming around nicely. Wish i could do that! But i don't see any point in it....I just use my blog for my bitch session or therapy so i don't go insane.
I hope you have a wonderful cruise and hope that you and your hubby can get things smoothed out. Take care!
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