I haven't written in the journal in a few days because....well basically because there isn't squat going on. I am so bored I am about to go bonkers! I feel like total crap and I feel like my stomach is ready to explode at any moment. Jonathan has been working late every night and I can't sleep worth sh--. Complain, bitch, moan, groan... You get the general idea.
Today I actually got out of bed, took a shower and mozied on over to Wal-Mart to pick up my glasses. Since they won't let you wear contacts in the operating room and I am blind as a bat and I haven't had my glasses updated in like 4 years, I figured I better get a new prescription so I could actually see my child in the operating room. I hardly ever wear my glasses, except at night before I go to bed. So I hadn't bothered to have them updated. But when it got to where I couldn't see the clock or even read any writing on the television, I pretty much knew it was time to break down and buy a new pair. One thing I learned... DO NOT buy your glasses from your eye doctor. I bought the lenses for 1/2 price from Wal-Mart than what I would have paid my eye doctor. Geeze. Talk about a rip-off.
Tonight Jonathan and I are going out to eat and to the movies. I guess it will pretty much be the last time we go out for quite some time. Since we don't live near any family or anything, getting a babysitter is pretty difficult. I feel pretty much like crap and can barely walk more than 20 feet at a time, so I'm not sure how its going to go.
I talked with my mom today and she said Skyler was doing fine. She has refused to talk to me on the phone for the last two days. Skyler isn't much into talking on the phone. But of course it hurts my feelings because she won't even speak to me. She would be perfectly happy living with Mamaw and Papaw in TN forever I'm sure. She has been helping Papaw pick the green beans out of the garden.
Jonathan has really been getting on my nerves here lately. The other day my parents weren't home at like 10:00 p.m. with Skyler and being pregnant and neurotic at the same time, I'm thinking, "Have they been in a car accident?" Jonathan was watching tv and I was trying to talk to him and instead of hitting the mute button and listening to what his 9 months pregnant wife had to say, oh hell no... He turns up the volume on the tv to drown me out! Now mind you, not only is that RUDE, but its even MORE RUDE when its your grouchy, bitchy, cranky 9 months pregnant wife! He really pisses me off sometimes. He was definitely raised in a barn. You read all these stories of these ladies who say their husbands treated them like queens while they were pregnant. Not my husband. Its the same ole same ole for him. He hurts my feelings in one way to, he isn't considerate of me being pregnant and feeling like sh-- and he hasn't felt the baby move or kick one single time. Its not surprising though because he didn't with Skyler either. But when you watch A Baby Story on TLC or something and you see all those daddies to be cuddling up to their wife's stomach and talking and feeling the baby. Well it just hurts my feelings. I don't think Jonathan can relate to the baby whatsoever until it actually gets here. He basically thinks it doesn't exist until its out and breathing on its own. Whatever.
Well I know I have at least one reader, hello Jenni! I haven't figured out how to write back to her yet, so if your reading this, forgive me. She is pregnant to and with 3 other kids, so I'm feeling for her. Here I am bitching about being pregnant and I only have one other child to worry about.
Well I have run out of things to say for today. Enough of the bitch session for this Friday. I'm going to lay down and rest awhile. Until tomorrow....
Counting Down the Days... Monica;
name: Monica
Home: Somewhere in NC
About: The life and times of a working mom with two kids who needs a break!
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1 Comments:
My best friend wroter this for me
because i can't defead myself against my sister caroline gets paid to take care of my mother i stay away those times not to entter fear she is fare from a saint and caresx ab out her friends and her party life to think about her sister that went to church for years and years what she wrote hearts and what she makes like i don't do nothing does too,I have a disable husband and two disable kids I lost my home when my daught at 6 broke her leg and noone would help me too much money dad said if I had the inhartance money in time i will help you but it didn't and I lost it I tried to go bankrupt but they messed it up and I didn't lose it i sold it for 1500 dollars,please don't think it like this I am hurt and asked her to remove it because it's not true my dad wanted to move and didn't want to wait to sell it and i was going to rent it from him and caroline would be the landlord and when he died she would get the new one on the water and ex.. and it would of help me get out of the basment of his parents home and take care of his grand kids that he hardly ever see because caroline huged everything up and now my moms sick and she can't do much \or watch them I haven't had a babysetter since they were born and my mom took care of darin and amber since they live in her home since they were 6,,,,,,sounds to me like maybee your dad is trying to make up for a balnce in scales,maybee his intentions are to make it up to the one who missed out in life,and you should figuire your part in her loses that led to this resolve,and your mom is right about you so listen to your parents tough love and deal with your role that put you in this place,maybee they missed out of so much that you played a part in,like maybee you should of been there to support your sisters needs as a sister and keep her family togeather instead of feeding her marriage to the wolves ,then maybee it would be a way she would still have her home she lost,think if someone is on fixed income you dont have to mess up much and you lose everything,did you do everything in your heart to keep them togeather,or help in seperating them,your sister is lucky she is still a family did you ever thimk of that also,and most likley what goes around comes around and you may find yourself asking the same thing you gave,maybee you dont see with fair eyes as your father,sounds to me your parents love her and your counting,havent you a heart,dont try to seperate your sisters marriage and count your other familys money,she must not have the same resource,so dont hog what god puts in your dads heart,it sounds like history repetes and this is not the first or last,how many times did you receive money from the family and help and side jobs and all the dinners ect... and her family had zip 0 none,,,,god knows god counts god makes it just,amen hallaloula
so peace be with you and get right with your sister,she was created by god and you will love her as god wills,or be judged by that same ,god wants ok,life is short
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